Is a Relationship Ever Truly Equal?
Updated: Mar 4, 2021
What is true equality in a relationship? Does it mean that there's a straight 50/50 split between household chores? And each party contributes equally to expenses?
What if one person has much higher standards of cleanliness than the other? What if one person's career has significantly higher earnings? What if one has to care for an elderly parent?
Equality and Equal aren't Always the Same
The happiest couples tend to be those with equal power dynamics in the relationship. Research has shown that these couples also exhibit higher levels of satisfaction, stability and intimacy.
However, balancing it all can sometimes get tricky. Even though most couples strive to contribute 50/50 the relationship, sometimes, one-sided sacrifices are necessary.
Perhaps equality doesn't necessarily mean that everything has to be equal all the time. Perhaps it's less about a 50/50 straight split, paying the bills and doing the dishes. Perhaps it's more about having an equal say in decision making in the relationship.
It's easy to measure the more tangible items like household chores, but true equality means that each person's dreams, hopes and ambitions are acknowledged and equally valued. Even if they're not shared by the other person. Or, understood.
Instead of playing 'roles' in the relationship, acknowledging the authenticity of each person is one of the most crucial factors in equality. Is one person more of a dreamer? A pragmatist? A clean-freak? And how are these traits and attributes of each person changing through time?
Being able to respect each other through complete acceptance, is a much harder relationship goal to measure, but a far larger determinant of relationship equality than the easy-to-measure tangible things.
Life is Always in Fluctuation
Everything in life is always in a constant state of change. Each person's capacity to contribute is also a continuous variable. The energy that each person can pour into the relationship fluctuates week by week.
It's simply natural that at times, one partner shoulders more of the parenting duties, housework, finances and organization than the other.
However, things should be in a continuous cycle. If the natural order of things are always one-sided, then couples should check-in with each other and their level of satisfaction.
Being able to manage the flow of life in-between two people can sometimes get tricky to organize. One of the key values of Dwellingright is transparency in-between couples.
Sometimes it's hard to fully comprehend everything that the other person has done, as there's so many things to keep track of in life.
Dwellingright was built to solve this, and allow couples to have more conversations about what you need from your partner, and express how you feel.
With increased transparency, comes the ability for each couple to be more flexible around the ever evolving changes of life, and allows couples to support each other and truly make decisions together.